


Australian Happenstance

by TopHat



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Not what you think, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11250942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TopHat/pseuds/TopHat
Summary: You arrive in your room to an unwelcome (if pleasent) surprise. A misleading self-insert oneshot, told in second person. A birthday present for a good friend.





	Australian Happenstance

You walk back to your room, legs leaden and arms aching. You'd find some clever alliteration to describe your head and back but honestly they just feel like pain. Zarya forgets that not everyone is an ex-olympian, so she pushed you harder than she should've. Mercy took care of you, but echoes of tearing muscles still flash through your mind.

You can't wait to just lay down in a bath and forget about the day.

Once you get to your room, you notice it's gone dark. Funny. You usually don't bother turning your lights off. You fumble in the dark, looking for the switch. Once the lights come on, your jaw drops in shock.

Six and a half feet of Australian criminal rests on your bed, posed. His left arm props up his head, a shit eating grin staring you down. His right leg (the peg-leg) is bent, the end hidden just behind his other knee.

He's also in the brief, which sends blood flowing to your head and...

Other places.

"Hello, lovely," he says, a giggle coming up, high and manic. "Aren't you turning an ace shade of red?" He adds a wink you know you didn't teach him.

You're stuck in place for a moment. Then a few more. His smile falls, and he moves back to a sitting position.

"This was a bit much, weren't it? How far off am I? Did I completely bugger it?" His red eyes loose their amusement and have settled into apologetic. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging."

You sigh and ball in your eyes. "It's not this. This," you wave a hand in his general direction, "is fine. It's just, I've had a very long day, and I don't think I'm up for much." I smile apologetically. "Though I've come home to worse sights on my bed."

Junkrat shrugs and levers himself up. You never notice how tall he is in the field. He's always hunched over, RIP-tire on his back and concussion mines arching his spine. It's only when you're both alone, free from work, that he can pull himself straight up.

"Even if ya don't wanna fool around, could we, I dunno," he's fumbling for words. "Read or watch something on the idiot box?" You recognize an olive branch when you see one, and smile. It's good to have a partner that understands limits.

"First I'll need a bath," you say, "and then yes, we can absolutely watch something." You turn into your bathroom and start stripping down. While you're running your bath, you realize that Junkrat is still naked.

You lean out into your room, modesty preserved by a rather fluffy towel Mercy got you last Christmas, and look at Junkrat. He's still nude, trying to figure out how to turn on the television.

"Junkrat, where are your shorts?" you ask.

He freezes up, and a sheepish grin crosses his face.

"Well, y'see, Hoggie and I were doing some spring cleaning. He was having a blue over his missing books, and I was right spewin about how he were tossing out me spare designs, and, well, he knocked over some o' me more volatile beauties, an' we both got light right up. Hoggie was able to put us out before anything were too damaged, but lost me pants all the same."

You blink a little at the story.

"So you and Roadhog got in a fight, knocked over a bomb, and lost your clothes." You're trying to imagine arguing with Roadhog, and it's not quite working.

"Well, Hoggie was alright in the end. 'E had a spare pair o' overalls by his bike," says Junkrat.

"But you didn't have any spare clothes," you add. It's becoming clear now, and you're struggling to hide the amusement you feel.

"Well, no," he says, like you're pulling his teeth out. "So I were standing around in the motor pool, right in my starkers, and I knew it were only matter o' time before some uptight sheila came in and raised a fuss. Me own bunk's clear across the base," he jerks a thumb towards the south side, "so I figure I'd crash at yours. Least until I can get me shorts," he adds.

You give in. Laughter falls from your lips, startling Junkrat and nearly causing the towel to fall. You catch the towel at the last moment, still chuckling.

"You," you say, voice a little light, "are mad as a cut snake, you know that?"

He smiles, showing off a full set of chompers you're surprised he still has.

"Oh, you know I can't resist when you talk Aussie to me."

"I'll be back in a minute," you say, moving to the tub and checking the temperature. Still warm. On second thought, you drain the bath, settling for a shower.

You have better ways to spend your evening now.

**Author's Note:**

> I work primarily on FanFiction, rather than AO3. If you want more, check out my profile there. Updates weekly.


End file.
